Oh! Humour, Where are thou?

How would a much hailed cook feel when after spending much of the day’s time in preparing a dish, with colourful ingredients, to satiate his guests gets a facetious remark as to how the bacon could have been boiled for a few more minutes? He wouldn’t care much, it wouldn’t disturb him much considering the other guest liked it but would sadden him nevertheless. The remark would not change him but spoiled what could have been a perfect dish.

I think some of us would feel that way if some unknown force snatches away the humour from our lives. Not that it’ll deeply impact our lives, not that it will disturb us, but it would take many smiles away from us, it would sadden us, that unknown unquantifiable force which gives a smile on our faces would have made our lives perfect.

Shashi Tharoor, for one, must have felt that after this ‘cattle class’ joke. It was a good one, an educated one but hugely misunderstood by a section of ‘goat men’ (yes, that’s one from me, men who continue to live in Stone Age and living the lives of the cattle).

I had to come across a similar feeling of rejection after my joke recently with a stranger was met with more awkward glances than what I get in an hour. The conversation went this way

Myself (sitting in the aisle seat): Long flight (from Kolkata to Mumbai

Co-passanger (window seat): Abhi utharenge? nahin tho hum yehi per reh jayenge aur plane nikal jayegi

I: Why don’t we wait for three more days, am going back to Kolkata then. We can take it for free.

It tickles your spine a little, no ? Worth a smirk, no ? All I got was a cold glance, a look that I didn’t get since my librarian in school caught me flicking a comic book.

Really what is wrong with us? Where has our humour gone? George Bernard Shaw wouldn’t have been able to sell a single laugh if were in this age in this country. Seinfeld wouldn’t last an episode. Are we taking ourselves too seriously? Well I think the answer is obvious.

L.O.S.T

I walk the empty street

On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams......

Tweak the empty street part of the line and it summarizes my life beautifully and succinctly.

Well have you ever seen a marathon runner question himself why he was busting his lungs out trying to finish a damn race? Never, because a marathon runner knows where the finish line is, he knows he is done with it once he crawls over the finish line. Wish I were a marathon runner in real, all I had to worry about was to cross a damn white line.

But what do I do now? I don’t even know where that line is. I don’t even know how many oceans I’ll have to cross, how many tunnels I need to pass and how many hurdles I need to jump over. I’m like a feather being blown away in a zephyr, whilst everything around might feel gentle, I have no idea where I’m being taken to.

I guess I’ll have to blame myself for that, I never enjoyed running you see. I have always been a good athlete but I would end up questioning the sanctity of my mind for taking part in an event, where all you had to do is to run. Well, at least now I realize that the run was not aimless.

My friend nonchalantly quotes Jack Nicholson “When you are facing a gun, what is the difference if you are a cop or a thief?” When you know life is not going to be fair to you, what is the difference if you are a struggler or an achiever? So should I quote Murphy’s Law and say that everything was bound to go wrong and be content with it? No, I have never been a fan of laws, but always managed to ace Thermodynamics, that is another mind boggling contradiction in my life, about that some other day.

Well to pick a leaf out of my knowledge from thermodynamics and trying to be as pedantic as possible, I have come to a conclusion that randomness is the order of life.

Entropy in the universe continually increases; entropy is nothing but randomness of molecules. More the randomness of the molecules in my body, it is quite natural that my head turns in so many directions and it is natural that my mind vacillates between countless options.

So where am I going? When am I going to jump off this roller coaster which has nothing but promises to thrill me with its crests? I would say, much like my rant here.

Have you ever heard of stories, where a sailor claims that he had sailed half the ocean suddenly to find out that his boat lost its rudder. Well I’m that sailor, stranded in the middle of an ocean; don’t know why I set out to cross half the ocean in the first place and what is there on the other side that convinced me to get onto this boat?

When immortality beckoned....

The Wimbledon final was witnessed by people around the world and was played under the close scrutiny of many tennis legends and celebrities as the center court warmed itself up to one of the greatest grand slam finals witnessed in the modern era. But there was, perhaps, one man who had a major say in the match, Harry Houdini as Federer time and again pulled out a rabbit from his hat, time and again changed the course of the match. Some might claim that it was infact Roddick who tricked all of us as he pulled of the greatest illusion in modern times and that is to make Federer look ordinary!

The pundits thought the denouement of the match was a foregone conclusion, that Federer had to merely oblige the fans and the broadcasters, the winners name plate was not even prepared for Roddick. People gave Roddick no chance, fans thought the occasion of landing on Mars would precede the event of a defeat for Federer in the hands of Roddick for the former has always been the artist and the latter always assuming the role of an artisan. Federer has always been like the heir of Da Vinci, Roddick the heir of a struggling artist. One who has always hogged the headlines and the other who was in the danger of fading into the obscurity of small columns. To be fair to Roddick, he always had the heart of a warrior, what he lacked was the skill of a gladiator to survive in a colosseum, where the spectators judge every move of yours. That all changed during the course of this dramatic final for Roddick shall never be called as ‘the gritty one dimensional player’

Roddick came out with all guns blazing, he got his well polished bazooka serve with him and on the other hand Federer was jittery, made uncharacteristic errors and his cross court shots deserted him on his greatest occasion. Roddick came out with a game plan, he kept hitting higher up the court, kept Federer mostly on the back-hand as even the most ignorant of people know that you don’t give Federer a chance to launch his murderous fore hand shot. Roddick took the first set and Federer just couldn’t crack the code of Roddick’s serve. But Federer is a modern day legend, an icon and was expected to bounce back in style and so did he, quite miraculously, in the tie-breaker of the second set. He saved four set points and went on to win the set in quite an incredible turn of events. Roddick had the tie-breaker under control and quite astonishingly missed an easy back hand volley when he was on two set points. Both the players would surely look back at that point as the one that turned the game on its head. Had Roddick won that set, in most probability that would have been set, match and championship for him.

What separates great champions from the average Joes of this world is that the greatest raise their game to a different level when it matters the most. You don’t give the champions a sniff of the victory because once they smell victory you are playing with destiny.

Federer bagged the third set not in his usual cavalier fashion but with a brand of tennis just enough to see off the danger of Roddick.Roddick bounced back with booming serves in the fourth set and with a brand of tennis that he wasn’t capable of a year back. One almost rubbed one’s eyes in bewilderment as one watched Roddick come up with some sublime cross court shots and some deft volleys. The volleys would have definitely made not only the legend he was playing against proud but another one in the stands as well, Pete Sampras. To bracket a player’s volleys along with Sampras’ is probably the best compliment a player can receive. Roddick took the game to the fifth set with some awesome brand of tennis and having not lost a single game of his own serve.

It no more looked like Roddick was delaying the inevitable, it looked like this was his day and in fact Roger was adamant in delaying the inevitable, i.e. a Roddick victory. Roddick once joked that he tried defeating Federer by throwing a kitchen sink at him only to find out that Federer was getting a bath tub. Roddick had answers to all that Federer threw at him and looked the more deserving of the two in the fifth set. The American had a chance to win his first Wimbledon when he had a chance to break Federer’s serve in the seventeenth game of the set. Federer had other ideas and he soon reminded everyone that against him you only get once chance and you only have to make a single blooper for him to run away with the match. Roddick had everything going for him, he was leading 30-0 in the fifteenth game of his serve and made two careless mistakes for Federer to level the score and one knew from then on that the match would swing in the direction of the champion. Roddick’s boat had finally lost its rudder and mast and Federer seized the set and the championship. The story had a different script albeit the same ending. Federer placed himself in the echelons of tennis world if he didn’t already and gave a further boost to his claim as the greatest ever. People might not tell their grand children about Roddick but he surely won the hearts of millions around the world and he will always be loved by many for having the courage, belief, the guts of an underdog and for once the skill to challenge the master himself.

Roger Federer has wooed tennis fans and non-tennis fan girls around the world with his tennis as much as with his humility but even the greatest Federer fan wouldn’t shirk away from paying tribute to the American.

The Fedex train might not be derailed yet but the Roddick jet surely gave it a bumpy ride. In short, the match did not deserve to have a loser.

Hats off to Slumdog

Danny Boyle’s Slumdog Millionaire has received rave reviews so much so that it is being hailed as the movie of the year (2008). Slumdog Millionaire definitely scores high as a movie with beautiful cinematography and a gripping screen play. The language barrier is probably the only factor from making this movie even more pulsating. As a resident of India, a few scenes in the movie are difficult to take in when you see the slum children speaking accented English and reading ‘ The Three Musketeers’ . Danny Boyle’s movie is a slap in the face for all those who think all is rosy in this part of the world and constantly put a brave face upfront to project the agenda ‘India Shining’. Yes, all the countries have a murkier side but the division of wealth in India is actually a worrying thing, to say the least. The gap between the rich and the poor is excruciatingly huge. This is where Slumdog shines and this where Danny Boyle needs a pat on the back. Amidst all the scenes which show the slums and a child taking a dip in a pool of stool, literally yes! , the film definitely presents itself well when it comes to ethos and is a little cathartic as well. 

Danny Boyle’s Slumdog Millionaire is surely a very enjoyable watch.

 

If I could Fast Forward

As we bid adieu to 2008 and wait for the dawn of 2009, I wonder what all this fuss about New Year is. It is after all the end of a month and the beginning of a new month; it is not as if everyone is going to wake up as a different person on the 1st of Jan 2009. Anyway sometimes we just have flow with the tide and accept a few certain things and one of those being reflecting on the past year.

2008 must surely be one of the most eventful years in Indian History. On one hand, we tasted joy with moments such as India claiming its first gold in Olympics whilst we were also left downtrodden and hapless by the terror attacks and financial crisis.

To, firstly reflect on the moments which filled us with joy upto the brim and every time I mention that there is only thing that comes to my mind. That is, finally, hearing the national anthem during the presentation of a gold medal at the Olympics. Yes, it was a huge victory for Abhinav Bindra, but a bigger one for India for it would never remain ‘that large country’ that has never won a gold medal. I would spoil myself for the moment and indulge in wishful thinking and hope that India triples its gold medal tally in the London Olympics. The other high point for India in the last year has been the performance of the Indian Cricket team. Cricket is a religion in our country and finally ‘the gods’ playing the game heard the prayers of our fans and gave us something to cheer about.

From a political point of view, the high point is surely the signing of the Nuclear Deal with the U.S. The deal might as well go a long way in deciding the course that India takes on the path to being a developed nation, over the next decade or so.

The later part of the year had been marred by the cowardly and daft terror attacks and the financial downturn. Going by the terror attacks in the last year or so, it appears as if there is no end to this atrociousness. The terrorist are truly ‘The Joker’ in the real world, they just want to watch the world burn. The less said about the financial crisis, the better . Much has been documented about it over the last couple of months and information on that front wouldn’t surely run in the shortage mode anytime soon.
For me personally though, I had the opportunity to celebrate Manchester United’s success on the field, I had the pleasure of watching Dark Knight , one of my favourites, again and again, I passed out from the IIT, rather reluctantly though, as the years spent there would always be my best. I was blessed with two glorious new friendships in the last year and indeed how I treasure those and how much they mean to me. Other than that, 2008 has been a year of utter wastefulness, in terms of time, and a pathetically slow year. A snail could have beaten the hell of it. Only if I could fast forward.